Kaori the Peacemaker
by Lusankya
Summary: When you have to spend your time with the same persons everyday, things can get a bit... messy. But fear not, Kaori is there to settle arguments! Because there's nothing better than a hyper japanese teenager to make all your problems go away!


Hello, you who is currently reading this. Here is another one-shot but this time, from SSX3. I LOVE that game. I could play for hours but well, I had this idea for a fanfic, so… well, here I am. Hope you like it, I thinks it's pretty funny. But then again, I might be a bit biased… Enjoy!

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It was a very normal day on the SSX3 circuit. Since it was a Sunday, the gang decided to spend the day in their hotel rather than on the slopes. Elise was doing her nails while reading a magazine. Zoe, Psymon and Moby were watching a movie. Kaori, Allegra, Nate and Viggo were playing poker with M&Ms. As for Mac, he was listening to his trusty CD player, eyes closed, and Griff was making faces at him.

''Hahaha! Kaori wins again!'' Kaori cried in joy.

''How can she be so good? asked Allegra, bewildered. She doesn't even keep a straight face!''

''That's why she's so good, answered Nate in a bored voice. She never stops smiling.''

''Ureshii des! Kaori was sekai no ichiban, ichiban, ichiban!(1)'' happily sang the young Japanese wowan while collecting her M&Ms, oblivious to their conversation.

Allegra, Nate and Viggo gave each other sideway glances and sweatdropped.

''AAAAAAAAAAH!'' **thump**

On the ground now laid Mac who was glaring angrily at Griff, who was laughing his head off.

''You little brat… I'm gonna strangle you!'' yelled Mac.

''Can someone send Kaori calm those two brats? Said Elise, as cool as ever. She's the only one they both listen to.''

Nate tapped Kaori on the shoulder, bringing her out of la-la-land.

''Mac! Griff! You stop NOW!''

Mac froze midway between his original position on the ground and Griff's throat.

''Mac-kun, strangling is not nice. What happened?'' sweetly asked Kaori.

''That brat, said Mac, trying to control his anger, was making faces at three inches of my face! Three damn inches! So, when I opened my eyes, it surprised me and… well… I fell.''

''It's not that bad, Mac-kun!''

''Maybe, said Mac through clenched teeth, but when I fell, I hit my head on the table end and it hurts like hell, damn it!''

A cushion was promptly thrown into Mac's face.

''Hey! What the heck was that for, bitch!'' yelled the poor abused boy.

''Don't swear in front of the kid, said Zoe, eyes still glued to the screen. And call me a bitch one more time and I'll throw you something way more painful than a cushion.''

''Griff-kun, it was not nice to scare Mac-kun like that…''started Kaori

''I wasn't scared!''

Moby snickered.

''You screamed like a girl, mate''

''I am NOT your mate!''

''So you don't deny screaming like a girl?''

''WHY YOU…''

''SILENCE!'' yelled Kaori.

She got it. Hearing such voice coming from such a small body was impressive.

''Thank you. Now, Jones, Mac-kun can't scream like a girl because, Mac-kun is no girl!''

The simplicity of her statement made everybody sweatdrop.

''And Griff-kun, you say 'sorry' to Mac-kun.''

Griff sighed but complied. After all, it was Kaori who was asking…

''I'm sorry Mac. I didn't mean to scare you or anything. I won't do it again.''

''Feh, answered Mac. As long as you do that I won't try to kill you.''

Kaori smiled and clasped her hands together.

''Good! Now, no more problems! Let's eat cookies!''

Everyone watched her as she skipped out of the room, then come back, took her M&Ms and went out again, still skipping.

''That girl is weird'', said Allegra after a moment.

''But in a cute way'', added Viggo.

Silence.

''MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES, DIE, DIE! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE ANYWAY! DIE, DIE, DIE!''

''Erm, Psymon? Could you please stop cheering every time Jason kills someone?''

''Yeah, it's not that it's annoying, but it's kind of annoying.''

The End! (for now)

((1)Approximate translation: I am happy! Kaori is the world's number one, number one, number one!)

Do not be scared; no American DJs have been truly hurt during the writing of this fic. I had lots of fun writing it. Feel free to let me know what you thought of it! Don't worry, there will be more episodes of Kaori the Peacemaker… Because there is nothing better than a hyper Japanese teenager to make all your problems go away!


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